Our mission

In 2018, a drunk IT professional was sentenced to use a shitty computer for a crime he didn’t commit. He broke out of the turd system (with a 120 Byte exploit) and moved to a superior computer platform. Ever since that, he’s hunted by corporate death squads. But he helps others who think about buying overpriced shit computers. He doesn’t really want to be taken seriously, but his enemies should take him serious. So if you encounter an offer for an overpriced prebuilt or think you’ve been scammed over, just call for… The Penguin.

Or in a less 1980s-TV-show-esque style

Back in 2018, a friend and I had a bet - ‘twas the release of a highly overpriced computer platform that, for the sake of not being sued into Oblivion (or Skyrim, for that matter), we shall call “the Rag Mini 2018” - a 900 € computer which, I stated, could be built, minus the OS and the design, using half the money.

Back then, it was a subpage of my own personal homepage that few know about. Now, it is its own page, due to the amount of attention it got from people I didn’t really want to read my personal homepage. So, enjoy VastlySuperior.

Disclaimer

This page, while being both educational and humoristic, is using entirely fictional offers of shitty prebuilt computers. Of course, the offers pictured on this website are as preposterous and ridiculous that the authors of this webpage would not dare to assume they exist in reality.

All component prices are researched on the release day of the specific article, and, as everything in a non-communist market, subject to change.

This website does not give purchase advice, investment advice or for that matter, any other advice. Make an informed decision before purchasing a computer. Some assembly is required when purchasing components.

That being said, if you really are as dumb as taking advice from a entertainment-only website, please consider the following as well:

• You should breathe to supply your brain with oxygen. Aim for at least three breathing cycles per minute.
• Regularly eat food and drink water. Do not drink bleach (unless you want to do the gene pool a favor), or excess amounts of whiskey, rum or wodka.
• Do not consume unknown fluids from unmarked containers.
• Vaccinate to prevent death from preventable diseases.
• Actually, have a doctor vaccinate you to prevent yourself from eating the needle. Don’t eat needles.
• No, drinking bleach does not constitute as a substitute to vaccinating. No, I don’t care Jim Humble said that.
• Do not put objects up your bottom unless they are explicitly designed to be put into human bottoms.