If the X5 isn't enough of a tank to compensate for your reckless attitude, your matchlessly-low parking skills and the spoiled (b)rat in the back, here you go: A literal fucking military vehicle that's been refitted for the civilian roads and has to be registered as a truck for it to be legal. If that doesn't satisfy that little shit, you really have to rethink your parenting style...
So, your kid wants a gaming computer, you want your kid to shut up and of course, you never learned to set borders or enforce rules around the house, because your kids just get everything.
And the car you drive him to soccer training displays three things:
So… Instead of giving him proper manners, of course, you will buy him: The H2. The ultimate (???) in prebuilt ripoffery. UUuuuuhh. Gaming. Did I say that out loud? Sorry.
Don’t take the game-purchasing advice here serious. If you do, please play the games first to get to know they won’t turn you (or your kids) into violent monsters.
| Component type | Component | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| Case | Aerocool QS-240 MicroATX MidTower Case | Looks a bit cooler | 37.94 € |
| Board | Gigabyte B365M DS3H Micro ATX LGA1151 | Somewhat equal | 82.7 € |
| PSU | Corsair RM 650W 80+ Gold | Somewhat equal | 96.8 € |
| CPU | Intel Core i9-9900, 3.6 GHz Octa-Core | Equal | 403.9 € |
| Cooler | ARCTIC Alpine 12 | Equal | 7.08 € |
| RAM | Kingston HyperX Fury RGB 8 GB, DDR-2666 x2 | Equal | 91.99 € |
| Mass Storage | Samsung 970 Pro 512 GB M.2-2280 NVME SSD | Equal | 171.48 € |
| Mass Storage | Western Digital Caviar Blue 1 TB, 3.5" 7200 RPM | Equal | 38.49 € |
| GPU | Gigabyte GeForce RTX 2080 SUPER 8GB Windforce OC | Somewhat equal | 547.99 € |
| OS | Windows 10 or Linux | Depends | 0 € |
| Total | 1478.37 € | ||
| Component type | Component | Description | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| Hitman | All the Hitman games | Pedagogically valuable strategy game | 146 € |
| Fortnite Coach | Fortnite Coach (5 hours) | Because playing video games requires a fucking coach nowadays | 300 € |
| CS:GO | Counter Strike: Global Offensive | It's actually free-to-play, but shell out the cash on some shitty skins | 100 € |
| GTA V | Grand Theft Auto V - Whale Shark Bundle | Absolutely educational and totally teaching your kid good skills to use in life. Mostly the fact it's pay to win. | 50 € |
| The Forest | The Forest | There's literally a whole forest outside your door, but your little bundle of joy might get hurt. Or worse, learn some life skills. So have them play this game instead. | 20 € |
| RDR 2 | Red Dead Redemption 2 | Your kid always liked cowboys, right? It has cowboys, so it definitely is for kids. Right? | 60 € |
| Dark Souls | Dark Souls - Remastered. | If cowboys are for little kids, so are knights. Right? | 40 € |
| Transport Fever | Transport Fever 2 | Trains? And capitalism? Gotta make sure that little angel knows what's important, eh? | 40 € |
| Fallout 76 | Fallout 76 | Robots? What is that fallout anyway? But it has to be good for little kids, it won awards. | 60 € |
| Skyrim | The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim | Again, it has knights, so it's gotta be for kids. | 40 € |
| Postal | Postal 2 Complete Pack | This about playing a postman, right? Has to be, why else would Steam sell it? | 20 € |
| Dead Rising Bundle | Dead Rising Bundle | It says something about ragdolls... Isn't that cute? | 50 € |
| Green Hell | Green Hell | I think this is about nature, is it? | 20 € |
| Project Zomboid | Project Zomboid | Hey, it looks just like the Sims, it can't be brutal! | 15 € |
| EU4 | Europa Universalis IV Collection | It teaches history. My little angel will finally learn that it's not nice to say 'Heil Hitler' in front of Synagogues | 251.58 € |